Tuesday, November 16, 2004



It just happened. I never thought....

I liked it.

I started to invite her over. "I was thinking about you all day." I felt them.

They moved over me, slowly... every day. At work, in bed, at meals. They sucked and chewed and I tried to control my breathing.


The wood and metal, flat edges and silicone to lick, beaters and blenders, measure, pack, whip.



She made it for me. Can she see me? What does she know about what's underneath? She told me to wear it every time she writes.

Fold it in. Do not overbeat. Just until all is moist. Roll and cut.




Sometimes I look in the mirror and this is what I see. I also imagine cottage cheese slathered over them, sprinkled with pepper.

Good enough to eat - sweet and tangy, roll it around your teeth and crush the juice out.

It's dangerous. I think about it too much. I think about reaching inside the seams while I sit in my chair. I slowly rock and hope no one notices. Sometimes I put things there to help out.

Put your fingers there. Let them float up. Squeeze my thighs like a harvest in Eden.








It just happened. I never thought....

I liked it.

I started to invite her over. "I was thinking about you all day." I felt them.

They moved over me, slowly... every day. At work, in bed, at meals. They sucked and chewed and I tried to control my breathing.






I threw sand at the other girls when we played. I was just jealous. Didn't you know?

When the leaves fell I mashed them with my feet. I walked beside my father and he watched the wind stripping the trees while I caught up.

I say, "Crushed." I say crushed over and over in my head. I pronounce it clearly with points and watery tones. Crushed. C Rush T.